Monday, August 5, 2013

Seven MORE Things Never to say to an Asian

Act #217: Would you say these things to a white person?  Exactly.

If anyone in your ancestry line has any connection to a country on the Asian continent, you've experienced this in at least 25-50% of your first meeting encounters.  You cringe.  You brace yourself.  You should be used to it by now, but it still makes your skin crawl.  The dreaded question:  Where are you from?  It doesn't matter if you've never stepped foot out of the great U.S. of A, or perhaps that you were adopted at birth, that you might be from a boring Midwest town, or maybe that you are generations away from being from anywhere outside the country.  As Asians, we've adapted, we've come up with answers varying from direct:  "Chicago", to passive-aggressive:  "Chicago.  Where are YOU from?", to resignation:  "I was born in Chicago, but my parents are from Thailand."  Also, the party isn't really started until someone throws in a Your English is so good.  But wait, there are more cringe-worthy conversation starters specifically designed only for Asians?  Gosh darn it, our people are so impossible. 

1.  Let me guess, you're Filipina (or Thai, or Indonesian, etc.)  Now my turn.  Let me guess, you are from Ireland? England?  Scotland?  Germany? C'mon,  now, give me a hint.

2.  I ate at this AMAZING Thai restaurant last week. Cool.  I had a pretty epic margarita at Casa Fiesta last week, but you don't see me bragging. 

3.  My daughter-in-law is Asian.  Excellent.  My math teacher in high school was white. So is my mailman.  And my barista, husband, college roommate, mayor, and garbage man.

4.  I think oriental women are beautiful. Yes, as are our rugs, silks, and orchids.

5.  How long have you been in America?  40 years.  Isn't my English just superb?

6.  Back in 1995 we spent two weeks in China.  Awesome, back in 1995, I spent a week in New Orleans.  It was Spring Break, I don't remember much.

7.  I only date Asian women.  Chirp.....Chirp....That would be the sound of crickets, because I've already walked away.

If you are interested in some alternate conversation starters beyond race and profession, do check out an oldie but goodie blog titled: 7 Non-Awkward Conversation Starters That Don't Involve Someone's Job

And for THE most epic comeback of all time.......

No comments:

Post a Comment