I asked him once again to hand over his Nintendo. At this point, he turned it off and stuck it in his pocket, but still refused to hand it to me. I told him he needed to go to bed and he just stared at me blankly, defiantly. It was at this point in our interaction that I truly felt, that as a parent, I had run out of options.
So I sprung over and grabbed him by his tender neck, placed him in a headlock, and slammed his frail, 65-pound body into our tile kitchen floor, his head hitting the tile making a crack so loud it echoed throughout our house. And I dragged him kicking and screaming into his bedroom. Something had to give. Kids these days need to show more respect for authority.
Note: Every single part of this story is fictional, except the fact that I do have an 8-year old. #satire #blacklivesmatter