January 12
Act #12: To Thine Own Self, Be TrueI wanted a nose ring since I was 20. I grew up watching Bollywood films and was captivated by the breathtaking Indian women and their artfully feminine expressions of their bodies through henna tattoos, and piercings. When I first graduated from college, I was worried that a facial piercing would prevent me from getting a job. So I waited. When I got my first job, I worried that my supervisor might not take me seriously and that might impact my career progression. So I waited. When I later became a human rights investigator, I worried that the respondent's lawyers would see me as less competant and it would compromise the case for my complainants. So I waited. Then I went on to work for a college, and I worried about how I might represent the institution, the impressions I might leave on the President, donors, older alumni, more conservative alumni, you name it. So I waited.
For 20 years I've wanted a nose ring and the time was never right. So I waited for two decades. The day after I quit my job at the college, I got my nose pierced. I had finally reached a point in my life that I no longer wanted to wait to be true to myself. If someone was going to discount me because of a tiny sparkly stone in my right nostril, I'd probably not be happy working for them, or in that environment, anyway.
Since the great piercing (and yes, a few tears were shed), I interviewed for, and got a job. I've attended a reception at the Governor's mansion. I've met with high-level financial donors and top-government officials. I honestly don't think anyone even notices my nose piercing anymore. But they seem to notice me more. The thing is, when you finally grow into who you were meant to be all along, you radiate from within - so brightly that a tiny little diamond pales in comparison.
Love it :) I always have to fight with myself over this very thing, what with the nose ring, lip ring, and teal streaks in my hair. I've finally come to this conclusion: I'm going into social work. One of the core tenets of social work is supposed to be not judging clients on anything: appearance,religion,gender,expression,orientation,skin color-anything. If I have an interview with a potential employer, and they don't want to hire me because the see a sparkle on my face or a streak of blue in my hair, then how can I have faith that they aren't also judging the people we should be serving?
ReplyDeleteGreat persepctive and great point! I for one would embrace such diversity in personal expression at my work environment!
DeleteMae, I got my nose pierced three months after my grant-funded BC job ended for similar reasons (but before I was 40!). It's amazing the angst we put ourselves through over the what-if's... It reminds me a one of my favorite quotes from a Tom Petty song. "I'm so tired of being tired / Sure as night will follow day / Most things I worry about / Never happen anyway."
ReplyDelete*Tambone
I love those powerful lyrics and how very, very true. Thanks for sharing, friend!
DeleteI am a Berea student and just stumbled across your blog this morning...so many of these posts are hitting home for me. This one is especially encouraging because I daily struggle with the thought of needing to put on a different face and change who I am to get a job. I have a nose piercing and still feel like I'm developing my own "style" (one that doesn't include a lot of makeup an manicures!) and this gives me courage to be smart and confident in the environments I might find myself in without caving in to cultural pressures.
ReplyDeleteCassie, I have no doubt that you will find your place, remain true to yourself, and help the world re-define beauty in a more diverse and less exclusive way. On a practical note, I swear if you throw on a blazer, you get instant professionalism :-) Best to you on your journey, my friend. Such an exciting time in your life!
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