Last week, Rep. Phil Gingrey (R-GA) said that young boys and girls should take classes on traditional gender roles in a marriage because there are some things fathers do "maybe a little bit better" than mothers. He went on to say, "You know, maybe part of the problem is we need to go back into the schools at a very early age, maybe at the grade school level, and have a class for the young girls and have a class for the young boys and say, you know, this is what's important. This is what a father does that is maybe a little different, maybe a little bit better than the talents that a mom has in a certain area. And the same thing for the young girls, that, you know, this is what a mom does, and this is what is important from the standpoint of that union which we call marriage."
In this spirit, should this brilliant proposal come to fruition, I wanted to offer some possible lesson plans for such a class. I would recommend the class take place over a six-week period, targeting elementary-aged children. The earlier we get 'em, the better. Georgians will be happy to know that polls show Mr. Gingrey leading the GOP Senate primary in Georgia. God bless America.
Week 1: Cooking
Boys: How to Boil an Egg (And Other Basic Cooking Skills)
Girls: How to Empower A Man to Feed His Own Face (And Maybe Yours Too Sometimes)
Week 2: Parenting
Boys: How to Love Your Sons Even if They Throw Like a Girl
Girls: How to Love Your Daughters Enough to Teach Them to Love Themselves
Week 3: Decision Making
Boys: Shutting Up: How to Share Key Decision Making With a Woman
Girls: Speaking Up: How to Share Key Decision Making With A Man
Week 4: Recreation
Boys: Tickling, Wrestling and Foreplay, Oh My!: It's Not Fun and Games Without Consent (A View From OnTop)
Girls: Tickling, Wrestling, and Foreplay, Oh My!: It's Not Fun and Games Without Consent (A View From Below)
Week 5: Economics
Boys: How to Celebrate Your Wife if She Makes More Money Than You Do
Girls: How to Demand Equal (Or More) Pay, and Let Go of Superwoman Aspirations
Week 6: Combined Seminar
How to Disarm Your Penis and Vagina. Contrary to Popular Belief, They Are Not Hidden Power Sources.
Recommended Follow-up Summer Courses:
- What if I Don't Even Like Girls (or Boys)? How to Fit In When The Supreme Court Says I'm Not Allowed to Get Married
- Adult Spanking: Pleasure (If That's Your Thing), Not Punishment - Part 2 of the Recreation/Consent Series
- How To Vote For Sane Lawmakers Who Don't Try to Legislate Sexism