Tuesday, February 12, 2013

A Letter to My Potential Rapist

Act #43:  Stop victim blaming.

Dear Potential Rapist,

This weekend, my girlfriends and I are going out, and I am not planning on getting raped.  Since everyone in the news, my self-defense instructor....my own dad is always telling me to be careful and what not to do in order to not get raped, I thought it was best that I tell you directly, right here, right now.  I am not asking for it.

I will be wearing a flowy teal tank top with a low-cut scoop neck and snug fitting blue jeans that accent my curves.  I am not wearing this outfit to attract you, to entice you, to give you a rise.  Quite frankly, I'm wearing it because I think I look pretty darn good in it.  Even sexy.  "Sexy" is not to be confused with "asking for sex".

I will be drinking apple martinis because they are like dessert in a glass and they make me feel all glamorous and Sex in the City-ish.  Again, "Sex in the City" is not to be confused with "unwanted sex with you".  If I get a little buzz, laugh a little louder with my friends, and smile a little more at the world, I am not doing so to lower my inhibitions so that I can later allow you to climb on top of me.

I will be dancing all night.  With my girlfriends, and I may even end up dancing with you.  Let me be clear, I do not consider dancing foreplay and no matter how low I go on the floor, or how much I shake my groove thing, this is not an invitation for you to attack me later.

I may have to run to my car to get my cell phone. I always forget my phone in the car and always inevitably need to call someone in the middle of the night.  I am not sending you a secret message to meet me out in the parking lot to pin me down and force yourself on me. 

So no matter how pretty I may look, how drunk I may get, how sexy my dance moves might be, I am not asking for it.  This weekend, my girlfriends and I are going out and I am not planning on getting raped.  I just wanted to be clear about that.


One in six women who will be the victim of sexual assault or rape in her lifetime

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