Five Reasons No One Has Ever Come Out To You

Act #284: Make it easy for someone to trust you.

One out of every two Americans has someone close to them who is gay or lesbian.  Chances are, someone very close to YOU is gay.  When someone chooses to be themselves with you - to open up and trust you in this way - they are making a conscious choice to let you into his or her life.  If you do not know a single gay person, the sad truth is that you may be acting in a way that might make a gay person think twice about being honest around you.  You may not mean to portray yourself as someone who is intolerant.  You may have religious convictions that have essentially created a wall between you and people "unlike" you.  Look around, if you have no openly gay friends, could you be doing one of the following?

1.  You regularly "check in" at Chick-Filet on Facebook.  Those mouth-watering chicken sandwiches might be oh so tempting, but when the CEO of this giant fast food chain took a public stand against gay rights, most allies stopped visiting this establishment based on principle alone. 

2.  You don't speak up when someone makes a derogatory comment.  Even if you are not participating, to a gay person, your silence is enough affirmation.

3.  You don't currently have a single gay friend.  Once people see that you accept gay people in your life, they will be more open to accepting you into theirs.

4.  You express your faith in a way that makes others feel unworthy.  No one is asking you to denounce or hide your faith here - but do you practice in a way that is preachy, judgmental, and makes those around you feel like they will never be able to live up to the standards of your higher power?

5.  You laugh at, or make jokes about gay people. Funny, I'm never around anyone who does this.  The thing with being an ally is this: once you come out as a supporter, there's no going back.  And what a privilege that is.

Today, October 11th, marks the 25th anniversary of National Coming Out Day.  If you want to be the type of person who is trusted, check out this guide from the Human Rights Campaign:  Coming Out for the Straight Supporter, http://www.hrc.org/resources/entry/straight-guide-to-lgbt-americans.