Paula's Right, Her Use of the N-Word Was Pretty Harmless

Act #172:  Lay off the $9.9 million butter, folks.  It's bad for your arteries.

OK, Paula, you're right.  You have every right to call the black man who robbed a bank at which you used to work decades ago, n***er.  Especially since "it was a different time back then".  The joys of living in this free country is that you also have the right to think that it's cute to be served by an all-black wait staff.  Just adorable.  But here's where it gets a little sticky.  And I'm not talking about butter, ma'am.  While your sweet, southern, charming self is really entitled to your own personal views about your fellow human beings (many who were probably - up until this week - contributors to your financial stability), let me be the one to tell you what you don't have the right to do.  You know, that thin line between casual hater to lawbreaker, per the Civil Rights Act of 1964.  For starters, you don't have the right to create a work environment that condones racism and sexism like you apparently did at the restaurant you co-own with your brother, Bubba.  You don't have the right to violently shake black employees, have separate entrances for black employees, or refuse to let black employees use a customer bathroom that white employees are allowed to use - all allegations in this current hot mess of a lawsuit that you've found yourself involved in these days. 

And ma'am, there's more.  Not only is it illegal to be mean to black people who work for you...well, you also can't sexually harass people who work for you.  I know, I know, so many rules!  You should probably tell your dear brother, Bubba not to play porn in his shared office with the female manager or on the kitchen monitor.  Or to tell female employees who just got dentures that her husband might like them.  Or to joke about the perks of having sex with women with flat heads, "because you can sit your beer on top of her head while she is giving you a b**w job."  It's also unacceptable for Bubba to kiss and then spit on the face of his female manager.  Or any manager.  Or any human being, really. Not sure how ya'll did it back in the day, but just to be clear:  not acceptable today.

And while it might be your own personal little fantasy to be waited on by black people, when organizing a work event with your professional staff, you probably shouldn't verbalize the fact that you want "a bunch of little n***ers to wear long-sleeve white shirts, black shorts and black bow ties, you know in the Shirley Temple days, they used to tap dance around..."

Bless your heart, this must be so terribly confusing for you - but there's one more thing.  While you may be entitled to your own oppressive, racist, and hateful thoughts within that sweet little southern mind of yours, just know, that we (the public) are also entitled to take back the chunk of your empire that we so graciously made possible for you during your glory days.  Perks of living in a free country, ma'am.